I can feel the tension rising in this confinement. I don’t know if it is the constant, never ending fear, or the frustration in not knowing what is happening out there in the world. We have had no communication with the outside world for 2 days and the silence has only scared us all the more. Sometimes I wonder if I could just slip out of her for a few minutes just to know what is happening. But my survival instincts tell me to stay put.
I have only heard or seen on television the horrors of being captured and tortured. It feels like a lifetime away; times when fear and terror were no better than fiction; when life went on in a breeze. But today, I have wondered already countless times as to how it would be if w were found out. I wondered how much it would hurt. If it was sometime before this incident, such a thought would have been laughable. But now, it seems like a pretty solid ending to my life. I haven’t set much on nightmares being the rational person I am, but now I feel a growing sense of dread.
I can see my sister getting annoyed in this captivity, her restlessness, her urge to get back on with her normal life. For her this is something beyond her understand-she doesn’t get the need to flee from a neighboring country. But she is only 5- I cannot blame her. But today I saw my mother tensing over a lot too. I myself feel trapped and confined in this small space. But we have no other way out and we all know that.
I wonder how many people out there feel the same way too. If there are any.
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